I had this idea earlier today.

and holy cow, it was a good one.
I was thinking about how I was going to go online and blog for the first time in forever and write about this superb idea so that the world would know how great I am at thinking.
Then life does that thing where it gets in the way of everything and I forgot what was so important that I had to run to my computer and write. So whatever.

I guess I haven't been writing too much lately which is incredibly sad for me. I have been messing around with some story lines and other little things, but nothing has struck me as being worth pursuing, so here I am. I think my problem is that my life has been a blur of sandwich making and box filling over these last few months. There is no time for creative processes or existential thought. It sucks, but at the same time it is nice to not work myself into a panic over the demons that are whispering in my ear. I am sitting on the fence right now.

I also haven't had a nightmare in a while. Sometimes I will wake up feeling like I might have had one, but I never remember them. The entire time I wished they would go away, I was scared that I would stop dreaming all together (and not even just about Mary, just in general) and so far that has been the case. I don't exactly remember when my last dream was, but I do recall it being a nightmare. There hasn't really been anything else since then. It is strangely bittersweet. So no nightmares means no marathon sessions of trying to keep myself awake so the screams don't get me or of waking up in such a panic that the words that I could never say magically manifest themselves into poem form in the tips of my still sleeping fingers.

I have to go back to packing up 21 years worth of debris before Sunday.

Sunshine, rainbows, and kisses.