Queen of Ice

Nothing is beautiful and everything hurts.

There is a dull ache in the pit of my stomach.

Not unlike nausea, but it is cold.

It brings cool uneasiness rather than

the familiar warm discomfort.

It sits heavily in the bottom, 

resistant to expulsion. 

Slowly pushing ice crystals through my veins 

and tearing me open inch by inch. 

Bleeding myself dry under my own skin.

It transforms my beating heart

into a citadel of mistrust and self loathing.

A fortress built upon every mean word and self inflicted second guess.

It grows colder by the moment.

Shriveled away, frozen, and hiding inside

is what used to make this vessel human. 

Now, I am an Ice Queen.

Using my ice heart to numb every emotion

that passes through.